How to Manage the Challenges of Post-Divorce Co-Parenting

 Posted on April 14, 2022 in Divorce / Family Law

If you and your spouse have children together and you are considering a divorce, there is a good chance you are concerned about how the two of you will raise your children in the wake of your split. Presuming you wish to share parental responsibilities with your spouse—which is the recommendation of the courts in most divorce cases involving children—you and your spouse will need to work together as co-parents.

Successful co-parenting can be more challenging than it initially seems, but it can be done. It will be up to your and your spouse to come up with customized co-parenting arrangements that match your specific circumstances, but here are a few things to consider as you start the process.

Your Parenting Agreement Should Be Specific

Hopefully, your spouse is willing to cooperate with you because it is better for your children if the two of you are making parenting decisions together rather than having the court decide on things for you. As you sit down to figure out what will work best for your co-parenting situation, be sure to make joint decisions that address:

• A parenting time schedule

• Schedule variations for holidays, school breaks, and birthdays

• Transportation for pick-up and drop-off

• Cultural or religious influences in your children’s lives

• Discipline and household rules

• Guidelines for introducing a new romantic interest to your children

• Childcare or babysitting arrangements, including whether either of you will have the right of first refusal

• School choice and educational focus

• Extracurricular and social activities, such as summer camp, sports, or sleeping over at friends’ houses

• Health and medical care for your children

This is not an exhaustive list, and your parenting plan is likely to include a number of points not mentioned here. Illinois law requires divorcing parents to draft and submit a proposed parenting plan, and if the parents cannot agree on the plan, the court will decide on parental responsibilities and parenting time on their behalf.

Reducing Conflict

Co-parenting after a divorce can be especially hard for parents whose split was rife with conflict. However, co-parenting conflict can also develop for those whose divorce was friendly and amicable. Relationship and parenting experts offer a few tips for minimizing such conflict, including:

• Choose your battles: There will be times when you should stand your ground on important issues, but compromising when you can will help limit conflict.

• Avoid talking badly about your ex to your children: Your issues with your former spouse are between the two of you. Do not put your child in the middle by badmouthing their other parent to them.

• Communicate openly: Perhaps the most important thing you can do to limit co-parent conflict is to maintain open lines of communication with your ex-spouse. It is also important to say what you mean and live up to any promises you make regarding your children.

Contact an Geneva Family Law Attorney

If you are planning to divorce, reach out to an experienced Kane County child custody lawyer to talk about your options for cop-parenting with your spouse. Call Loire Krajniak Law, LLC at 630-448-2406 to schedule a free consultation and case review with a member of our team today.

Sources:

https://www.thespruce.com/signs-of-a-healthy-coparenting-relationship-2997282

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/two-takes-depression/201203/the-dos-and-donts-co-parenting-well